| Never drink and derive! It's such an important | | | | exaggerated way. |
| message that I'm going to go ahead and say it | | | | OK, so if you're reading this you know how |
| another way. Don't drink and derive! Euclid and | | | | important it is to spread the word, to remind the |
| Pythagoras and all those derivers of old would never | | | | young people, to stand up and be heard. It may look |
| have believed the mess this number stuff was going | | | | harmless and innocuous, but the results of drinking |
| to cause on college campuses across the country. | | | | and deriving can be devastating. If you believe this |
| Unbelievable really. | | | | with all of your heart or you're effectively being |
| Kids...just kids really. Pushing pencils on graph paper, | | | | manipulated and perhaps brainwashed by my |
| wielding t squares uncertainly, erasing errant lines, | | | | persuasive prose then for certain you must get the |
| trying so hard to be precise, wishing they weren't | | | | Never Drink and Derive Tshirt. |
| the only college students in the Northern Hemisphere | | | | Trouble is you can only get the authentic shirt of this |
| without access to a computer. So they drink beers, | | | | ilk in one place in the universe and it's very important |
| tequila and fermented pineapple smoothies, hoping to | | | | you know where this shirt bazaar is located on the |
| "get off" and hold it together in equal measure. | | | | intarweb. Lucky for I have the inside scoop and it's |
| Ultimately, they're endangering their reputation and | | | | totally true you can discover this finery at... |
| maybe even their lives if you think of it in a very | | | | |